Language
Stop sounding apologetic in English (while staying warm)
This is for you if…
- You apologise for asking, for speaking, for taking time.
- You start half your sentences with "just" or "sorry".
- You don't want to sound aggressive — you want to sound senior and warm.
Apologetic language is not politeness. It is a habit that quietly tells the room your contribution is an imposition. The fix is not to become blunt — it's to replace the hedge with a precise frame. Warmth stays. The shrinking stops.
The four habits to retire
- "Just" — "I just wanted to ask…" → "I want to ask…"
- "Sorry" as a sentence-opener when you've done nothing wrong.
- "I think maybe…" stacked on a view you actually hold.
- "Does that make sense?" as a tic at the end of every point.
Before / After: starting a message
Before
"Sorry to bother you — I just had a quick question if that's okay…"
After
"Quick question for you."
Before
"Sorry, I just think maybe we should consider…"
After
"I'd recommend we consider…"
Before
"Does that make sense?"
After
"Let me know if you want me to go deeper on any part."
Apologise when you mean it
A real apology — for a missed deadline, a wrong number, a hard error — lands precisely because you do not apologise for existing. Save "sorry" for moments that need it. The rest of the time, lead with the point.
The warmth substitute
Warmth comes from naming the other person and being specific. "Thanks for catching that — you're right, my number was off" is warmer and more senior than four "sorry"s. Use the words you save on something that actually carries care.
Your next step
Ready to improve how you're perceived at work?
Take this further in private 1:1 coaching with Darcy — or explore the programmes built around the work you actually do.
More notes like this.
Occasional, considered notes from Darcy on executive communication. First name and email only.