Writing
How to be concise in business emails (without sounding cold)
This is for you if…
- Your emails grow longer the more important the recipient.
- You soften every line because you're worried about tone.
- Senior colleagues' replies are three lines; yours are three paragraphs.
Concise emails are not cold. Cold emails are cold. A short email feels warm when its structure does the relationship work — opening on the person, naming the ask clearly, and closing with one specific next step.
The four-line rule
- Line 1: human opener (one sentence, specific, not generic).
- Line 2: the ask or the update — explicit.
- Line 3: the reason, the deadline, or the next step.
- Line 4: close warmly. Sign off.
Before / After: asking for a decision
Before
"Hi Sara, hope you're doing well and that the week is going okay! I just wanted to follow up on the thing we discussed last week — sorry to bother you, I know you're really busy, but if you have a moment at some point this week or maybe next week that would be amazing, no rush though, just whenever works for you really…"
After
"Hi Sara — quick one. Can you confirm the budget line for Q3 by Friday? If you'd rather discuss live, I have 15 minutes free Thursday morning. Thanks — Darcy."
Words to cut on the second pass
- "Just" — almost always removable.
- "Sorry to bother you" — replace with the actual ask.
- "I was wondering if maybe you could possibly…" — make it a direct request.
- "No rush" — if there's truly no deadline, give a date anyway.
Warmth that survives the cut
Warmth comes from specificity, not length. "Thanks for the quick turn on the deck — the framing landed well" is warmer than three paragraphs of pleasantries. Name what the person did. Then make your ask.
Your next step
Ready to improve how you're perceived at work?
Take this further in private 1:1 coaching with Darcy — or explore the programmes built around the work you actually do.
More notes like this.
Occasional, considered notes from Darcy on executive communication. First name and email only.